dearest bud,

i'm sorry i could not help u in anything. the only way i could was to keep u in prayer and to fast for you. i feel helpless. but even when your friend here feels helpless i suppose u shall never know for you are constantly surrounded by people who showers you with love. i'm happy to be once ya good friend. in my heart you will forever be my bud( er tentitive cuz the future is hard to predict). you have loads of good friends. appreciate them. love them. i shall be leaving singapore soil soon. everyday the time ticks nearer to graduation. and im one step closer to leaving. i dont want to be an extremist. so many things bounds me. i know. im easily influenced. even so. i dont wanna be known as one. at times, i cant help bt think that this christian might be a little extreme. i look at others, i dont see them doing what we do. call me dumb. God! save me! please do not forsake me even when i choose to walk backwards. im stuck. im going crazy. i've even come to a point whereby the bible is not part of my daily life. terrible i know. when was the last time i sat down and absorb His words? terrible me i know. i'm terrible. do not say i've changed into a new person. that is the surface. i've changed to become a much worser person. trust me. i know myself.

im sorry. im sorry.

i suppose your time with b*tcher is up and i suppose you are having a great time absorbing His words in BS or having another nice time with your best frends.

im sorry i chose to walk backwards in so many things. forgive me.

i just cant face you during school hours even though deep down you will be my buddy. but like i said, if u ever chose to leave to.. dont hestitate to tell me. i'm sitting here waiting.

buddy