long time since i last came here toblog. ytd was another crappy day for me. lets not go into details. yesh it was my fault for suggesting dinner when im suppose to head home for dinner. no doubt i had a huge scolding. bt it was just me. when im down, i just wnna go out and eat. eat eat and eat. whatever. mum would think no diff cuz i have been going out to eat. im truly sorry and i shall try to change that. yesh i realised that i have been going out and eating out all day long for a very very long time. it is much more worst than those days during line dancing days. i mean its now 7 days awk rather than 3 days a wks. im totally moving at such a fast pace. i mean yah i did say i wanna DO LOTS OF THINGS DURING THE HOLS, bt this is way way too much.i mean.. yah at times i HOPE not ENVY that my parents would be more liberal. (envy ROTS the bones, its in the bible) yah bt in the end, they are still my parents whom i should love and make them happy( also in the bible). yesh bt i suppose i have not been a good christian all along because i have been neglecting this part all the time when im more focus on others. i mean, this is my bad. i hope that the lord would forgive me in this area which i have totally neglected. n i pray that He would help me out in this area. strengthen our bonds between one another. n bless my father for i did not know he once suffered from a minor stroke. yesh i shall bear that in mind. yesh to love and to obey our parents are clearly written in the 10 commandments and i have not listened to it. yesh i deserve punishment. Lord says that we should obeserve the ten commandments. but... i have not been good. im sorry Lord. i dun dare to pray to ask for anything only forgiveness that i have broken it. im bad. such a bed person inside but on the outside people see me as another. i hate it. Lord, help me. i hate this!!... im not a good person. im one who broke thy rules...save me.

amen.