how many times have i played 'i think God can explain' on my iPod?
countless.
i feel pathetic. like im not putting enough effort.
it is when we feel small that we look to God. but do i have to always look to God? not that i dun wan. but what i mean was do i always have to feel pathetic when such things come my way?
i try to be strong in Him.
i try to be like the rest.
We should not always be after the milk bottle. but rather, we should be fed with vegetables. why can't i be strong? why do i always feel like i just wanna stay at the 'baby christian' stage and just heck them all?pathetic. call me a submarine christian and i suppose that sums it all up.

i suppose i have been running after the Hand. not the Face.
pathetic.

how many times have i cried to myself?
i duno.
either it ends now or it never.
i've given up.
i've given them my support a long time ago.
and i still support them.
i'm immuned so it doesnt really matter.
either i receive a slap from someone if anyone reads this or i'll be stared at.
why is their child thinking like that?
unfilial. they may think.
but once you find ourself cyring in bed at 3 am in the morning. either u start praying for some miracle or you tell them to just leave.
leave it ALL behind.
i choose the latter. mean i know. but when you love two people, the best thing you wan for them is to be happy. how can they be happy? fancy screaming their lungs out at such hours.
i almost had enough ytd.
but i held it.
bt all i can say is that whatever it is..i support them and i'll not complain. i have given up.